~我的快乐。。。会回来的。。。~

it has been a long time that i didnt update my blog d.. wat to do... lazy piggy ma.... ish... time passes so fast... 2 more weeks to go for final... then break for 2 and the half weeks... then 3rd sem d... phew... 2008~~ going to over soon... when i recall back... 2008... in this year... a lot of thing happen to me... first time doing lots of thing... such as assignment la... college life la... this and that... happy.. sad... hurt... all also got... ish...

there's something i wanna tell someone...

to the someone,
i donno wat happen to me... wherever i go to those places that had our memories... i think about u... i mean... think about last time and now... i also think that wat will happen if there are nothing happen in this year... both of us will be still the loving couple as last time? i donno... haha... 或许我是在怀念过去吧。。。let it be ba... its over.. doesnt it?

你看到了吗？或许你一辈子也不会知道。。。

okok... back to the now now now... i realise this few weeks... i keep on meeting back my primary and secondary school's friend la... kinda happy and excited... but kinda scare also... scare i might be left out or wat-so-ever... but still... i m happy!!!

我的快乐，会回来的。。。我期待着。。。

如果有一天我不再烦你...

如果有一天，你拨我的电话号码，语音告诉你我已经停机。答应我不可以难过，不可以失落；不可以想我，更加不要记得有这样一个我。如果有一天，你的手机不再频繁的响起，请不要等待，不要期盼，更加不要想找到我，只有看到这样的一个你，我才可以放心的离开。
　　
　　如果有一天，你的耳边不再有人说烦人，讨厌。不再有人固执的说自己永远是正确的，不再有人粗鲁的对你发脾气。不再有人和你讨价还价的想多讲几分钟电话，不再有人在挂电话之前吵着要你亲亲和抱抱。这样的一个我消失了，你会难过吗？
　　
　　如果有一天，你的短信收件箱里，不再有人可怜兮兮的说距离你回家还有几分几秒，不再有人恶狠狠的说再不和我说话我就揍你拉，不再有人撒娇的说你讨厌说你坏，不再有人在做错事情之后悔恨不已的责备自己不对。不再有人胡言乱语，不再有人长嘘短叹，不再有人时而温顺的对你言听计从，又突然大呼小喝的对你乱发脾气。你失去了这样的一个我，会失落吗？
　　
　　到了那样的一天，我还是希望你有一点点的难过，一点点的失落，一点点的想我，只要有一点点关于我的记忆就好，真的只要一点点就好。
　　
　　如果有一天，你打开电脑，我的头像变成了永远的灰色，不要说我不守承诺，是我感觉到累了，倦了，也真的受伤了。
　　
　　如果有一天，你的生活中没有了我，请记住我对你的好，我的任性，固执；我的宽容，关怀。我毫不着边际的孩子话，我的疯话，傻话，伤心时候流着泪，无奈时候叹着气说过的话。可是你要记得，我们虽然在地球的不同角落，但是我们头上顶着同一片蓝天，脚下踏着同一片绿草地，呼吸着一样的空气，或许这里能找到你的味道。
　　
　　如果有一天，你的记忆中没有了我，不要忘记我们在一起的每一分每一秒，不要忘记我喜欢什么，讨厌什么，觉得什么是幸福，什么是痛苦。而我无论如何都不会忘记任何一个关于你记忆的片断，你习惯什么，反感什么。觉得什么是快乐，什么是悲伤。感情世界里，没有公平两个字，我不会计较这些，我们在一起的那两个月,会是我这辈子里最美丽的回忆。我还要你记得答应过我什么，许诺过我什么，可是我不好，不乖，不守承诺，我没有等到你彻底忘记了，重新幸福起来的时候就离开了；没有陪你走到痛苦结束的时候，没有等你真正快乐起来的时候，就逃开了。
　　
　　如果有一天，你的生命中不再有我，一定不可以记得我的存在，我的痕迹，因为我害怕你会失落，会难过，会想我，这一切不是因为你喜欢我，爱我，而是习惯了我每天的电话，每天的留言，我的胡搅蛮缠，我对你的依赖。当一个人的生命中习惯了另一个人存在的时候，即使没有喜欢和爱，他依旧会感到失落，会有点难过，会想他，虽然我是一个喜欢嫉妒，脾气很大，霸道，更加不能容忍我喜欢的人爱着别人的人。但是我依然希望你过的比我好，希望看到你幸福的过着每一天。
　　
　　如果有一天你的前世和今生都不再有我，当原本就不太坚强的我面对这一刻的时候，我不清楚我会怎么样？而你依旧是你，你会看到我躲在角落里的苦恼懊悔吗？会感觉到我无时无刻不陪伴在你的身边吗？尽管你叹气的时候我不会再去安慰你，难过的时候不会再陪你一起难过，心碎的时候不会再去陪你一起心碎，曾经我做的这一切，你都未曾察觉到，未曾看到，你的记忆，你的生命，你的世界不再有我的时候，我更加清楚的这样的时候，你不会有一点点的难过，一点点的失落，一点点的想我，一点点的关于我的任何记忆。
　　
　　当这一天到来的时候，是我真的绝望，真的心碎，真的疲倦了。因为有太多太多的时候，我都是装，虽然我总是装作无所谓，可是我真的不在乎吗？而你呢？会在乎我的一切吗？可是我会很自责，会恨我自己，因为我做了一个不守承诺的人。我答应过你任何时候都不会离开你。你对我说过，你不知道如果有一天我离开你了，你会怎么样？我懂，其实都是我不好，我不该让你生活中，生命里，有我的存在，我该做一个默默守候你的爱人，默默承担一切，偷偷等你，想你的人。可是我把一切一切都表现了出来，你知道了，清楚了，了解了，最终感动了，可是我却离开了。
　　
　　今天陌生的，是昨天熟悉的……

i saw this on a forum... found that it was quite meaningful and kinda same as us... my tears dropped down when i finished reading it... wat about u? wat if this really happen to us? will u still keep our promise??

累了。。。真的累了。。。。

心情，身体和精神最近都很不好。。。太多事情发生了。。。发生的让我开始不知道要如何解决和面对。。。但所有的一切总是强迫着我去面对和接受事实。。。

已经不知道过了多少没有你的夜晚。。。是我自己不愿去算。。。不愿告诉自己真的已失去你。。。不愿意面对失去你的事实。。。我一直以为我能够很坚强的做的到。。。但真的好难。。。白天。。。至少我能让我自己忙。。。忙的把你给忘记。。。不让自己有时间静下来想起你。。。但到了夜晚。。。忙完了。。。自己一个人的时候。。。所有一切一切都浮现在我脑海里。。。不管有多累。。。我都睡不着。。。我让自己沉醉于电视剧。。。每天都追到早上天亮了。。。就是还睡不到。。。最后。。。是哭累。。。累的睡着了。。。

望着你的msn。。。你的照片。。。我们的照片。。。所有美好开心的回忆。。。一一的出现了。。。可这更加让我感觉到。。。失去你的痛苦。。。我真的好害怕看到，想到，有一天。。。你会对着别的女生用曾经对我的温柔，溺爱，疼爱，所有的好去对待她。。。我接受不了。。。

我累了。。。我真的不想再撑了。。。我不想再装坚强了。。。但我又能怎样？表现出脆弱的我。。。只会让你说我在装可怜。。。我根本不想装坚强，装伟大，装做一副毫不在乎。。。我想告诉你。。。我在乎！！！我一点也不坚强。。。我需要一个可以让我休息，依靠的人。。。而那就是你。。。但你不可能了。。。

累了。。。真的累了。。。。

~i love my family...~

let's welcome back this little lazy piggy here... i know i know... i know i didnt update quite long d... but ppl lazy ma... so now since got nothing to do... so i come here and write something lo...

new sem start d... everything seems like changed a lot... the feeling towards college... the environment... the class... everything... is just changed...

have been suffering from kinda lots of problem... at last... i finally choose to tell all to my dad... and i was so suprise that he didnt scold me... instead of scolding... he talked to me... he just make me feel so warm... dad... i really love u...

and now... i think all the problems have finally just settle down... i really hope is all already settle down... not temporary... coz... i dowan to have the feeling again...

thanks for my family supporting me all the way... and of course some of my friend... i appreciate it... i really do...

p/s: i already got a sony vaio... yapz... is a pearl white one... at first i didnt wan to get it... but since my bro say ok.... so my dad just get it for both of us... no no... should be 3 of us... coz my mum addicted to the game inside... swt... thanks daddy!!

~life...?~

final exam is over... first sem in CBF is over too... kinda start missing those busy days d... today woke up... feel that my life suddenly is so dull... nothing to do... watch drama for the whole day... damn boring... have to go and find something to learn or to do d... feel like going back to dancing but... dun have the semangat d la... feel like going for yoga... but dowan be alone la... anyone wanna join me? i wanna learn flute... but no money to get a flute... anyone can tell me where to get a cheaper flute than yamaha? and where to go for flute class is better? any suggestion?

suddenly feel that time really passes very fast... 3 months then over d... everyday go to class... talk talk... play play... this and that... one day over d... hope that the second sem all can be in the same class again lo...

back to this thursday... after my last paper... i went to one-u with my family... my dad took a leave... some more becoz of my house got no electricity... so we went out early the morning... then got 3 perfume... one for mum and two for me... haha... anyone like perfume? i m kinda addicted to gucci envy me d... omg... i just love that... but also... i still love my miss dior cherie...

2 to 3 weeks holiday... not that long... but is not short too... donno where to go... but might be going to lagoon on 26th... still under planning... donno yet... well well... really gonna get my self to do something d... cannot everyday also eat sleep and play... like pig only...

there is still problems between me and u... just that r we trying to ignore it or wat? both of us like pretending nothing happen... problems still need to be solved... but still...

p/s: sorry that i kinda long time didnt update my blog... thanks to my lazy bub... i will try to update as more as i could... if i m not lazy to do so... muahahaha....

pp/s: i wanna get myself a laptop... i donno how to choose a laptop... well i know i m lame... i donno all the spec or wat... i just wan a laptop... A WHITE one... i mean... a PEARL WHITE one... any suggestion??

~失恋无罪~

你说我对你紧紧跟随 你觉得疲惫
你一句话就逼我撤退
没想到你说最近选择一个人睡
我忍住眼泪我尊重眼泪
孤独万岁 失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪
我对於人性早有预备
还不算太黑
独身万岁 失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由
难道不珍贵
一个人崩溃不是在犯罪

你说我对你紧紧跟随 你觉得疲惫
你一句话就逼我撤退
没想到你说最近选择一个人睡
我忍住眼泪 我尊重眼泪
孤独万岁 失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪
我对於人性早有预备 还不算太黑
独身万岁 失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由难道不珍贵
一个人崩溃不是在犯罪
一个人崩溃并不是在犯罪
孤独万岁 失恋无罪
谁保证一觉醒来有人陪我
对於人性早有预备还不算太黑
独身万岁 失恋无罪
爱不够爱你的人才受罪
用过去悲伤换来自由
难道不珍贵
一个人崩溃并不是在犯罪
一个人崩溃并不是在犯罪

~oMg!!~

hmm... was kinda unlucky this feel day... lots of thing happened.... but then... the most unlucky day was yesterday... ish... well well... first i woke up kinda late and rushed to college... then all the thing was going very smoothly... UNTIL... until 12 that time... wanna go for maths class for my test... something oMg happened.... guess wat? i fell down!!! IN FRONT OF THE INTI COLLEGE... the main entrance some more!!! some more that time got a lot of people walking around coz i think its a break time... omg.... omg... even the guard also laughed at me... so bad hor... ya ya... a lot of people saw how i fell down... was so embarrassing... omg... cant believe it wei... luckily got my darling to pull me up and go for class d...

at first i feel nothing at all... no pain... but until i reach my classroom... when my darling started to ask me... " eh darling ah... u got injured anot? got hurt anywhere?" then only i feel like something on my knee.... like kinda pain... then we went to the toilet... and i saw my knee was injured... i mean both also injured... pain la... ish ish... then i quickly use the toilet paper and wet it... then try to clean the injured part... OMGosh!!! it's damn painful!! it looks like just a small case... but then... really painful!!!

so we went back to the class... and take our test... omg... i cant believe this... my leg still continue paining and of course got a bit bit of blood la... then when the air-con was on... i can feel my leg is become more painful... then i cant really concentrate on my test lo... then fast fast finish my test then go for break with my darling...

today when i woke up... my leg was like... muscle cramp? both of my leg were so bloody painful... especially when i walk on the stairs... either going up or going down... my leg was like going to die soon... some more... was suffering from stomachache due to gal's business...

y this few day i keep on suffering from pain... no matter physically or mentally... oMgosh.... can someone just help me to recover from all this thing? i think only time can help me ba... but still... there's someone can help me... but... issit possible? all the thing was just so sudden... everything just happened like that without any expectation... y should all this bloody hell thing come to me? y? can someone tell me y? y issit so unfair to me? but anywhere... this is life.... this is all about life....